Monday, November 30, 2009

Pop Poetry - Pink

It seems to me that Pink has always made it a point to be honest with her lyrics, and I appreciate that - especially in the world of pop music. In her latest album, Funhouse, Pink deals with many demons and processes emotions from her divorce. The reason I'm featuring two of her songs today is that I think there is something important for us to hear in her lyrics.


In Please Don't Leave Me I hear the fear and vulnerability that comes with my human attempt at unconditional love. I can't understand why the people that I love the most are usually the people that I can be the harshest with. It's scary. It's scary to see the darkest parts of my heart exposed when I let my anger get the best of me. It's scary to think that when the people I love see that darkness, they might want to leave.


God tells me, "I will never leave you or forsake you" (Josh 1:5) It is only when I am walking in the truth of God's unfailing and unchanging love that I can love others well and accept His grace and healing for the darkest places in my heart.


Pink – Please Don’t Leave Me

I don't know if I can yell any louder
How many time I've kicked you outta here?
Or said something insulting?

I can be so mean when I wanna be
I am capable of really anything
I can cut you into pieces
But my heart is broken

Please don't leave me
Please don't leave me
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please, don't leave me

How did I become so obnoxious?
What is it with you that makes me act like this?
I've never been this nasty

Can't you tell that this is all just a contest?
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest
But baby I don't mean it
I mean it, I promise

Please don't leave me
Oh please don't leave me
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please, don't leave me

I forgot to say out loud how beautiful you really are to me
I cannot be without, you're my perfect little punching bag
And I need you, I'm sorry

Please, please don't leave me
Baby please don't leave me
No, don't leave me
Please don't leave me no no no

I always say that I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back
Please, don't leave me

Baby, please, please don't leave me



Sober brings me face to face with the vices in my life; the things that I run to for comfort, for distraction, for temporary peace. Pink sings about being the girl she doesn't want to be, and trying to figure out how the better side can win. It reminds me of when Paul said, "For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. (Romans 7:15-20)


Pink - Sober

I don't wanna be the girl who laughs the loudest
Or the girl who never wants to be alone
I don't wanna be that call at 4 o'clock in the morning
'Cuz I'm the only one you know in the world that won't be home

The sun is blinding
I stayed up again
I am finding
That's not the way I want my story to end

I'm safe Up high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain Inside
You're my protection
But how do I feel this good sober?

I don't wanna be the girl who has to fill the silence
To cry it scares me cause it screams the truth
Please don't tell me that we had that conversation
I won't remember, save your breath, 'cuz what's the use?

The night is calling
And it whispers to me softly come and play
I am falling
And If I let myself go I'm the only one to blame

I'm safe Up high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain Inside
You're like perfection
But how do I feel this good sober?

Coming down, coming down, coming down
Spinning 'round, spinning 'round, spinning 'round
Looking for myself
Sober

When it's good, then it's good, it's so good till it goes bad
Till you're trying to find the you that you once had
I have heard myself cry, never again
Broken down in agony just trying to find a friend

I'm safe Up high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain Inside
You're like perfection
How do I feel this good sober


So, Pink as poetry. Think it's a stretch?
-Natalie

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Pop Poetry V6

I think these lyrics are all I need to post this time. What do they stir in you? Natalie

Laughing With - Regina Spektor


No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one’s laughing at God
When they’re starving or freezing or so very poor

No one laughs at God
When the doctor calls after some routine tests
No one’s laughing at God
When it’s gotten real late
And their kid’s not back from the party yet

No one laughs at God
When their airplane start to uncontrollably shake
No one’s laughing at God
When they see the one they love, hand in hand with someone else
And they hope that they’re mistaken

No one laughs at God
When the cops knock on their door
And they say we got some bad news, sir
No one’s laughing at God
When there’s a famine or fire or flood

*Chorus*
But God can be funny
At a cocktail party when listening to a good God-themed joke, or
Or when the crazies say He hates us
And they get so red in the head you think they’re ‘bout to choke
God can be funny,
When told he’ll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus
God can be so hilarious
Ha ha
Ha ha

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one’s laughing at God
When they’ve lost all they’ve got
And they don’t know what for

No one laughs at God on the day they realize
That the last sight they’ll ever see is a pair of hateful eyes
No one’s laughing at God when they’re saying their goodbyes
But God can be funny
At a cocktail party when listening to a good God-themed joke, or
Or when the crazies say He hates us
And they get so red in the head you think they’re ‘bout to choke
God can be funny,
When told he’ll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus
God can be so hilarious

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one laughing at God in hospital
No one’s laughing at God in a war
No one’s laughing at God when they’re starving or freezing or so very
poor

No one’s laughing at God
No one’s laughing at God
No one’s laughing at God
We’re all laughing with God

Monday, November 23, 2009

Happy Meal


My older two children were toddlers at the time. We chose the drive-thru of their favorite place for lunch. The box was colorful. A gift wrapped for each child. It was like Christmas. Inside there was food. But food was not the reason for their excitement. We sat expectant because we knew that toys waited. Time after time in this drive-thru each lunch brought a new toy.
But not this time. Faces shone. Little hands pulled out the food in haste and scattered fries and nuggets on the seat and dangling toward the floor. Toddler eyes called for back-up and entered every corner and nook of that box. But the box was empty. All the gift offered was food.
I looked at the drive-thru lady. She shrugged her shoulders. With a great deal of empathy she said, "We're all out of toys today." Grimace shadowed my countenance. I looked back at these little ones and bravely spoke the words. "I'm sorry guys, there is no toy today."
Tears trickled at first. And then like waters charging a dam, cries burst out and flooded the car. We sat there unhappy with our meal. We had to face the day with no toy.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

My IPOD and my saxophone


I found this article by Christianity Today's Andy Crouch to be a subtle and powerful explanation of the way our culture thinks about music.

He says this, "There is a big difference between playing a CD and playing a fugue. One is instantly rewarding, the other takes time and patience. One satisfies, the other requires a sacrifice. One is godlike—Yo-Yo Ma or Radiohead play flawlessly at your command—while the other reminds you just how small a creature you are. One is a purchase, the other is a practice."

To Read More...

Does this apply to you?

Thoughts?

Discuss...

Monday, November 16, 2009

Content

A new Ipod "Classic" has 160gb of storage. That is astounding to me. Apple claims that it can store 40,000 songs. That number is a little dubious as those songs would have to be awfully short to fit and you really only get 148gb of storage, so lets call it 30,000 songs or so. By my calculation, legally purchasing this many songs would run you around $29,700.00. Of course this is a bit of an exaggerated figure as there are sales, there is free content like podcasts, etc. but the point remains that the amount of data most of us can fairly easily afford to store on a portable device is far in excess of the amount of data we can afford to put on that device.
This puts people like myself in an awkward position. I have a gigantic appetite for both new music and old music that I haven't purchased yet. I have a device that can hold more than I can think of in my pocket, and then there is a massive wall of temptation barrelling down on me.
In the first five years of Itunes' existence it sold six billion songs. That sounds like a lot, however Bill Wyman (of NPR and Salon.com noteriety) quickly shows what a small number that is. He tracked some popular torrent sites. In particular he showed that one Beatles Torrent, which contained 300 songs was downloaded 20,000 times in just five days. That means that six million songs were downloaded illegally, from one file, of one band, in five days. That is 1% of the songs that Itunes has sold in five years. Thus, when you extrapolate that out to all the existing music ever produced, it is obvious that illegal downloads dwarf legal, and paid for, ones.
Does the fact that "everyone" is doing it negate the fact that it is wanton copyright infringement and therefore illegal? No. Does it make it a lot easier to justify? You bet. I justify it in my head by saying that I will see the band live, or I will purchase it later, but even if I actually followed through with that, would it make it ok? Stealing is stealing...isn't it?
This is one of the topics I hope to talk about at On Tap, Thursday, 7-9 at Llywelyn's Pub. I hope you will join us and discuss your views on this and other music related topics. Don't worry, we won't take your full names in case someone from the RIAA is present.
- jason

Saturday, November 14, 2009

license, legalism and holiness


Three persons stood before God.

The first stood somber and began to recite the Ten Commandments.

The Second laughed, rolled his eyes and offered God a Rated-R DVD and a Budweiser.

At this, the first burst into outrage. “I thank God I’m not like you,” she shouted. She pulled out a rated PG movie and a Diet Coke to give to God. Then, She began to stomp her feet and shout “Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord!”

Amid the shouting and the stomping, the second lit a cigar. “Hell, I thank God I’m not like you,” he stated. He offered God the Cigar. “Gracious, Gracious, Gracious is the Lord!” he repeated.

As the first and the second jostled with each other for whose gift God would receive, they did not notice that God had left them. Some time ago he had stood up amid the noise, and walked toward the third person, who at some distance was laying sorrowful, faithful, waiting with nose to the ground, hands empty, fearing, longing.

God bent down. He reached and touched. He lifted the third one’s head. Their eyes met. Joy rested there, while the first two barked on in His absence; one with her soda, the other with his shot glass and both of them stomping on.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Parenting Page: Pursuit


This has been a rough year for Caroline, our 3 and a half year old. I was sick from March though August, Julia has started walking :), and now I am working full time. When school was the dominant part of my time I would often sacrifice an A for a B in order to make sure I got good time with my girls. With work it is entirely different, and I am simply gone from the house more (and I cannot do work at night in my basement like i could with school... I did make some A's in Seminary :) ).

So, when I go home today there is a good chance Caroline will say (in a half-yell), "No, Daddy (BURN-E/Fillmore the Bus/Terrence /Eric) go in the dining room..." Or, "Don't Come in". The only thing that has been harder as a parent (for me) is when she didn't want to talk with Rachel after Julia was born.

I have learned to pursue my daughter through this. She will almost always relent to being chased. I have to be careful to chase in such a way that she doesn't get to run directly to Mommy, but I can almost always convince her that chasing is good. Caroline is a sucker for being thrown up in the air. It is rare that she doesn't like it, or being swung around. Julia is a different story, she has her mother's issues with motion. But Julia also runs to me when I get home.

I am not a great pursuer in some relationships, but I do know how to pursue Caroline. When I was sick I would pray for the energy to chase her. Now I have it, and I so easily forget! It means so much to her heart when we do it. There are a lot of analogies there, about God, about parents, and about love. But, the purpose of this post is to simply encourage you to pursue your child this afternoon or evening. You were probably going to anyway. If you do not have children, pursue a good friend - call them, and begin with obvious excitement if you get them on the phone (this is adult chasing maybe?). Have a good Wednesday.

-Matt Blazer

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Better than Pop, this is Patty Griffin!

Patty Griffin is by far my absolute favorite singer song writer I have ever come across. She's like a female Bob Dylan that can actually sing. Love her lyrics, love her melodies, love her arrangements...LOVE her!

Today I'm featuring a song off of her first album, Living With Ghosts. This song gripped me the first time I heard it and has never let go. Patty is an incredible story teller in her songs. Here she embodies the child of a "poor man." For me, the song captures hauntingly what it is to be below the poverty level, and in a way it transcends a place, and solely pictures a situation.


"Poor Man's House"


You know you've done enough when every bone is sore
You know you've prayed enough when you don't ask any more
You know you're coming to some kind of understanding
When every dream you've dreamed has passed and you're still standing
Mama says god tends to every little skinny sheep
So count your ribs and say your prayers and get to sleep
Nothing is louder to god's ears than a poor mans sorrow
Daddy is poor today and he will be poor tomorrow

Hey that's the poor man's house
Everybody get a look at the poor man's house
Everywhere they went before must have turned them out
And now they're living in a poor man's house

There's nothing like poverty to get you into heaven
They got a lot of wine and fish up there
And the bread's unleavened
They got a lot of ears that heard a whip go crack
Lots of missing toes and fingers and scars upon their backs
Daddy's been working too much for days and days and doesn't eat
He never says much but I think this time it's got a meaning
It isn't that he isn't strong or kind or clever
Your daddy's poor today And he'll be poor forever

Hey that's the poor man's house
Those kids are living in a poor man's house
They walk to school with the soles of their shoes worn out
And come home in the evening to the poor man's house

What are you chopping that wood for
Why are you growing that corn
Mama's sewing a brand new shirt and
You're wearing the one that's torn
I guess it's for some one else's kid who wasn't born
In a poor man's house

Hey take a look at that house
Everybody we're living in a poor man's house
Seems like everywhere we go they find us out
Find out that we've been living in a poor man's house

I think the reason the songs chills me to the core is the lack of real hope. Part of that is reality, as far as their monetary condition is concerned. But she's right, the sorrow of a poor man is definitely heard by God.

Psalm 31:6
Open your mouth for the mute,
for the rights of all who are destitute.
Open your mouth, judge righteously,
defend the rights of the poor and needy.

James 1:27
Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Ancient Paths for the Soul


I remember the path I took every morning toward Saint Anthony Elementary. I was a boy who rain or shine, walked to school. Marshall Avenue was my road. Just across from the Methodist Church yard at Bowne Avenue, several small apartments formed a huddle every morning on the right. If a boy had the courage he could turn strategically from the road into that strange bunch. He could walk into a run if need be while passing the mutterings of apartment doors ready to open or rustlings from within waiting to shout. For just beyond the legs of the last apartment stood a row of trees. And if you knew where to look for it, a path waited expectantly ready to say, “This is the way walk in it.” A field, open and secure was the reward for such courage. Just beyond that field the Saint Anthony Playground waited. It was as if each new dawn spoke to me, saying, “Step off of the road, boy. Take the path and you’ll have minutes more to play before school.”

I'm not a boy anymore. By coming to terms with that fact, I am not stating that my hankering for a good path is diminished. Its just that I need paths that possess the capacity to rest my soul amid this restless wrangling of days. I'm trying to figure out how to get from here to there intellectually, emotionally, daily in such a way that my interior life remains whole and strong. Jesus points me to Eden, to the Prodigal and to home. He bids me consider the three paths of solitude, hospitality and wisdom on which to travel and find with Him my way. Meanwhile, a man selling paths whistles at me. "Hey man" he says. "I got the goods you want." "What are you peddling now?" I say. "I got plenty of celebrity" he says. "Immediately a crowd forms to clap for me, a woman calls her eyes to flirt with me. "I know you like applause" he continues "and attention." (A spotlight then shines on me, a band starts to play). Then he adds, "I also got some good productivity and immediate gratification for you too." "You can stay busy, give people constant product and never have to wait for anything. Hell, you won't have any more boredom, no more reflection, only work, buzz and appreciation." Everyone cheers, some reach to shake my hand, others begin to flatter me with how awesome they think I am.

"What will it cost me?" I inquire. The music gets louder. "A restful soul" he shouts. "But no worries man, I've known lots of people go almost their whole lives without a restful soul . . .and they don't seem to mind at all."


Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Bad Habits and Busyness


Yesterday my best friend called at 10:15 AM to tell me he was unexpectedly coming into town. I was in a meeting and told him I would call him back in 2 minutes. Needless to say I was excited to re-arrange my day so we could hang out. Today I got a call from a friend at about 4:00 PM wondering if I had hung out with Matt (my best friend). 30 hours later, and I had not yet remembered to call him back.

Eugene Peterson says that when he is busy it is for one of two reasons. 1 - He writes, "I am busy because I am vain... I am busy because I am lazy."

Vanity explained this way, "When others notice (me), they acknowledge my significance, and my vanity is fed."

Laziness explained this way, "By lazily abdicating the essential work of deciding (how it is best to spend our time)... other people do it for us... to stave off the disaster of disappointing someone."

Peterson is talking about pastors. But I think it applies to you. I miss my friend; he is recently married and I do now know his wife as well as I wish I did (she was here also). We did not get to have lunch/dinner/cigar/coffee/hugs/conversation because I struggle with vanity and laziness.

Thoughts???

Discuss...

-Matt Blazer

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Joshua Tree


Friday evening my wife and I listened to U2's Joshua Tree while preparing dinner. Because I was five years old when this album came out the U2 I am more familiar with is the one that makes spanish words up while selling Ipods. I am mixed on that U2, but the band that made Joshua True, October, and War is astounding (not exactly breaking any new ground here, I know).

I am not generally one to distinguish between Christian and non-Christian music, at least in that vast realm of gray in between "Amazing Grace" and "Me So Horny". But if I were to do so, this album would fall squarely on the Christian side, and I think I would nominate it as the best Christian album ever recorded. If there is a theme to the album I think that it would be longing. The song that drives the theme most clearly is "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" which boldly states: "I believe in the Kingdom Come/Then all the colors will bleed into one/But yes, I'm still running/You broke the bonds/You loosed the chains/You carried the cross and my shame/You know I believe it/But I still haven't found what I'm looking for." It is tempting for the more legalistic of us to take offense at that last part. In fact, a common question I read when travelling entirely too deep into message boards is how can Bono really believe that God will redeem the world, that Christ died for the world's sins, and still not have found what he is looking for? I suppose my answer to that question would be that he does it the same way all of us who call ourselves Christians should.

By God's grace I fully believe that he sent his Son to die for me and that one day the world will be redeemed, but in the meantime life can be so incredibly frustrating. I long for the day when my children won't cry, when my sin won't hurt those around me, when other's sin won't hurt me, when there is peace and when I don't have to watch my grandparents slowly die. That is what I am looking for, and I still haven't found it. That is frustrating, despite the fact that I know it will change someday, maybe even more so because of our awareness of the fall.

Next time you have had a long day or week I would recommend you throw this album on. It still sounds modern despite being 22 years old, and it expresses the deep rooted pain of our participation in this broken world in an honest and direct way while also fully acknowledging the miracle of our salvation and redemption.

- jason

Monday, November 2, 2009

What kind of life are we meant to do together?


We are meant to do life together. To accept and pursue this purpose however, we must examine our assumptions.
What kind of togetherness are we meant to have? Localities are not often healed by gangs or clubs or networks of people who use their togetherness in order to loot neighbors and promote locked doors. A togetherness of meanness does not offer the hospitable grace our individual dignity warrants and requires.
A togetherness of misdirected tolerance doesn't suit us either however. It does no good for the child to tolerate her walking out into the street while cars are coming, even if that child really wants to. Even if that child will trantrum-cry if the baby-sitter should find the courage to say with all love and the experience of wisdom, "no." A togetherness of this kind of tolerance, is misguided because it celebrates disrespect to those who must endure it, as if the enduring one's are foolish about what is wise and hospitable, and implies that the tantrum-thrower possesses true wisdom. The wolfish one is allowed to roam free to bite and devour the rest.
A togetherness of meanness and a togetherness of misguided tolerance both have this one thing in common. They use community to demean or destroy persons, including themselves. These groups share geographical space but they know only the kind of togetherness that folly can provide.
Togetherness is meant to create a hospitable place for each individual to safely dismantle their folly and steadily find what is wise and good for their comings and goings. Folly is not meant to rule nor provide the entertainment for our evenings.
Jesus invites us into relationship with others. He leads us to do life together. But for togetherness to last, what kind of life must we do? His footsteps and teachings show us the way.