A Present Community

I felt at rest. Time seemed to move slowly and my schedule had nothing on it. Have you ever had one of these seasons in life? Some of you are thinking, “Yeah, 15 years ago when I was in college.” Or, “I can remember the days before we had kids…” Perhaps it happened on your last vacation. Well, regardless of the circumstances, most of us have had moments of deep rest at some point in our lives. We’ve known what it was like, as it were, to be at peace in the world.

I recently returned from a study leave afforded to me by Riverside. The lake house I found myself in had a massive fireplace, the cupboard was fully-stocked, and the company I had all played a role in giving me a restful place to simply be. It provided me “space” to study, to read the Bible, to pray, and enjoy moments of reflection too. It was ironic because I was reading a book by Henri Nouwen called “Reaching Out”. One of the major themes of his book is a recovery of Christian hospitality. Hospitality, says Nouwen, is "the creation of free space where the stranger can enter and become a friend instead of an enemy." In that lake house, hospitality was shown forth and I was further invited into being human.

Hospitality does not simply refer to giving someone, who happens to be passing through town, cookies and milk and wishing them happily along their way. Rather than treating people like Santa Claus, hospitality is much more than providing a meal and a place to stay. I need to interject: room and board are certainly hospitable acts of love, but there is much more to hospitality than just food and sheets. Nouwen suggests that hospitality is a “disposition of the heart” to allow people that God brings in our midst a safe place to be. To be hospitable is to allow room for God’s work in the lives of our neighbors, without our forcing or controlling. It is to create space while remaining present.

As we seek to be a community at Riverside, it is our aim to create space while remaining present. It means that we won’t run away. It means we won’t control. And it means that loving-well will be characterized by patience and care. Why would we pursue community this way? Because we are aiming to promote restfulness and comfort, ultimately, in Jesus. What does this mean—restfulness in Jesus? While I’m no statistician, my experience in caring for the human heart leads me to the conclusion that about 100% of our disquietude of soul (whether one is a follower of Jesus or not) comes from our inability to rest—to find our deepest satisfaction—in Him. So true rest is of this kind: where the soul is at rest in Jesus alone.

To have this sort of community will mean that we must remain present with others. It will assume that we are doing the hard work of taking our own fears to God, so when people respond in ways that are uncomfortable for us, we’ll know that we are safe too. In other words, our best community will only be experienced to the degree that we are able to give space while remaining present (hospitality). But the giver and protector of this space will only be able to do so to the degree that they themselves have found Jesus providing this selfsame space for them...

I’d love to hear your thoughts, if you care to share them…Ryan

Blood Sport: Love

I vaguely remember some aspects of my childhood but some stand out more than others. One such standout is the movie “Bloodsport.” Who can resist Jean-Claude Van Dam jumping in the air while dispensing a various array of kicks and ninja moves? He wants to defend the honor of his good friend who tragically was murdered in the kumite by a Korean haus and win for his master who trained him during his youth (sounds very typical 80s to me). The thing that stands out , besides the ninja moves and the Korean guy losing, is the bond between Frank Dukes (JVD) and his Master. This martial arts master trains Frank physically, emotionally, and mentally to achieve an end goal. What does it mean to mentor?

When I was a teenager, I remember the man who walked along side me during high school and “lived life” with me. He was my youth pastor, Brian Burkey, and I could tell that although it was his role to be my youth pastor, there was something different in the way we interacted. Brian cared about my spiritual growth but his focus wasn’t about changing my behavior, it wasn’t about training me to be a leader in my youth group, it was about loving me well when my faults and sins were known to him. Brian is a mentor. He is a man who loved and cared for me, first and foremost, like one of his own kids and was transparent enough to show me his own shortcomings. He wasn’t a “Superman” type figure in my life but a broken man who loved me in a real way. His love for me was a means to no end. In relationships of actual love there is no agenda – especially at the beginning.

What would it look like for the Riverside family to embrace mentoring? Is it possible for us to do it, not as a means to an end but through “living life together” as our starting point? Wouldn’t mentoring then be a natural outgrowth? It’s easy to talk a big game and use this term “living life”, and in this way we definitely ‘talk the talk’ at Riverside! But, mentoring requires us to move beyond just teaching and training and engage the issues of life. That’s what Jesus did. He lived day in and day out with his disciples and his main message to them was to love God first and foremost and love other people. Do you think Jesus spent 18-20 hours a day only teaching and telling parables? Jesus laughed with people, cried with those who were broken, got excited about doing certain things, and probably told a few zingers himself. What I’m trying to say is that mentoring should not be our focus…but love. When we love people well we will naturally become a mentoring community.

Brian and I continue to meet up and have a close friendship. He’s like a second father to me in almost every way. I don’t think we would still be hanging out 10 years after I graduated from youth group if his focus wasn’t love.

PS - did you know Blood Sport is based upon a true story? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloodsport_(film)

-Simon Kim