Grow

Last Night at Cross-Training (this is our Middle School large group) we had a picture of me up on the screen welcoming students as they come through the doors. It was a picture of my at my high school graduation party and needless to say, I looked a bit different than I do now. I was 260 LBS and sported a then-trendy part down the middle, fashionably known as the "butt cutt." Of course, this got me thinking about my own growth towards Jesus, and the growth of our teenagers at Riverside - who I am the pastor of.

I hated my appearance. I wrestled with images issues then, and I still do. I was sick and tired of being the far kid amongst my group of friends. I made it a goal to never look that way again and so I took measures into my own hands. I got pictures of some ripped individuals and hung them up in my bathroom so that every morning I would see who I wanted to become. I thought if I could become like these people... then I would feel different, and my problems would disappear along with my "butt cutt". I worked out a lot. I sometimes starved myself for days and broke my fast by eating a small meal. Step-two: repeat step one. I set myself strict guidelines about food and exercise in hopes of being different. By the time college was over I weighed about 180 LBS. This wasn't enough for my heart. I tried more extreme measures but found myself not wanting to be like those pictures anymore. I don't know if I was tired, I don't know if God simply rescued me from my addictions - I just knew that somewhere my affections had changed.

Who are you trying to become? A pretty hip youth ministry talk is about "taking off the mask". I was trying to become the ripped guy, that was my mask. I was afraid of the other mask: the fat kid one...

Who are you trying to become? In one of the Apostle Paul's leters he writes, "Imitate me as I imitate Christ". Do we try so hard to become something else that we actually miss the real life offered by imitating Christ? God didn't design us to worry about our appearance, especially to obsession. God didn't design us, in fact, to be able t oavoid mess - ours or other people's. But, God does allow a generous process for us to grow in Christlikeness. When we run after other things/masks/images/ we're missing out. I'm not saying imitating Christ provides every answer and an "immediate cure" to our anxieties and addictions. But, I am saying it is worth it.

-Simon