Why you should come to the Art Gallery Tonight: Dissonance and a chance encounter with great art

According to the dictionary on my computer dissonance means: • a tension or clash resulting from the combination of two disharmonious or unsuitable elements. This is the second definition, because I believe dissonance is usually a musical term.

I want people to come tonight because we have great art, and we have disturbing art. I believe it is disturbing in a good way. Our first artist works primarily with Barbie, and her goal is not to accessorize her. Then, you move into the larger room where we have two artists that the Gallery met when we did the collaboration with the Women's Caucus for the Arts, STL chapter. All three of our artists are amazing, but the ways that they are amazing are different. Lauren (first artist) is doing something very concrete with her deconstruction (and destruction) of Barbie, Maggie has a lot of abstract and semi-abstract work (including sculpture) that is explosive in color, and Kate's work - while softer than the other two - has a depth to it you could miss if you don't stop to look for awhile.

Our Gallery exists for a number of reasons. One of them is to expose more people to the cultural medium of art. Tonight, from 7-10, is one of the finest opportunities you will have to see very established art, but also to be exposed to emerging/counter-cultural art. I hope you are able to join us for a few minutes.

Parenting Page: Parenting Adults

As I was learning the lyrics to several songs for a fundraiser we were involved in recently I was somewhat undone. Some are so poignant and full of heartache that never gets healed.

I think back to the earlier days of being a mom and then I flash to the present and realize there is a condition that never goes away in motherhood. It is the condition of wanting your offspring to find a fulfilling life full of God’s goodness and free from as much pain and heartache as possible. And I definitely want them to be healed in this lifetime of any heartache they may experience
This just does not happen easily or in the way we envision it.
I have learned over a lot of time “in the field” that God’s best for my kids is more often gained through hardship and battles. This is often excruciating to watch as a mom. After all God gave us that nurturing, protective gene didn’t he?
I have wanted to fix it! I have wanted to fix them! I have wanted to stop the growing pains and the bad choice-making and re-direct their journeys. I want to advise them ahead of time so they don’t suffer any “unnecessary” results, steer them clear, help them see the light.God has answered on so many occasions a resounding “NO!” and I at times shake my fist at him.

I remember in 2003 when our youngest was preparing to go with Youth With A Mission in Perth, Australia. I realized after she flew out of St. Louis I forgot to be sure she had requested a window seat and an exit aisle with ample leg room for the crossing over the Pacific to Australia and then the flight from their east coast to their west coast. It drove me crazy that she might not travel well as she was getting over a sinus infection, and also what about thrombosis on such long flights?
As I lamented to a friend she gently said that, what was driving me crazy was that I didn’t take care of everything I wanted to as a mom and that maybe God had it under control. I was stunned by my need to control an adult child’s environment and more stunned that I hadn’t realized how strong that urge still was at this stage of our lives.

I have loved getting to know and do life with our three adult kids and their spouses. I have also had to be so very vigilant to let them live and breathe and have their being in whatever way and manner they choose and love them through it all.
I am undone by some of the pain and the suffering that each of them have endured over the years at the hands of others and because of poor decisions. I am also undone by the relentless love of their God and the growth of each of them in their own walk and relationship with a God who is way more vigilant and protective than I could ever hope to be.

So, I just got off the phone with the earlier mentioned YWAM daughter who was fighting a long-term sinus illness and was thinking, as she talked, that she should check in with a doctor about this lingering cold. Then, near the end of the conversation she said that, by the way, she was planning on calling her doctor if she wasn’t better in the next day or two. Oh yeah, this is the daughter who on the other side of the world from me with no phone connections to mama, managed being incredibly ill a couple of weeks in Thailand and India, not to mention several other “close call” scenarios, as well as running out of money. When will I ever learn? Hmmm, I think that Van Morrison wrote a great song with those lyrics.

Marsha Lang

Music Monday: Kind of Blue

Last Week (8/17/2009) marked the 50th year anniversary of the release of Miles Davis’ Kind of Blue. This album also features (among others) Cannonball Adderley on alto sax, John Coltrane on tenor and Bill Evans on piano. This album is a landmark as it was the first major post bebop jazz album. Davis had begun to feel limited by bebop, which is based on complex chord changes, and set off on a new path of modal (scale based) jazz.
The album was recorded in two sessions, Davis simply handed out notes before each song showing the scales and melody lines to be improvised off of – gave brief instructions, then started taping. Because of the supreme talent of the players involved it made for an amazing album. Improvisation works incredibly well when all of the improvisers have something to say.
Unfortunately for jazz this record could be seen as the beginning of the end, or at least a significant decline. The record spawned a lot of lesser copies. Many musicians began to simply play whatever came to their minds instead of playing with a sense of purpose. A lack of cohesion in addition to a lack of inspiration led to noodling instead of brilliance and rock and roll came in with simple chord arrangements and bright melodies to fill the void left in the wake of Charlie Parker’s bebop.
This record (and many others such as my personal favorite, Coltrane’s “A Love Supreme”) avoid those pitfalls because the musicians clearly have something to say, their melodies are lyrical, the changes in scales happen for a reason, the emotion is evident. It might be loose – but it is inspired.
So this is all fine and good, but this is a church’s blog, why am I writing this? We who are Christians have attained great freedom through Christ. We are no longer bound by sin, we are freed through Him. When we take that freedom, are inspired by our God, and seek to apply that in beautiful and purposeful ways: amazing things happen. When we lose focus on our God who gives us freedom we begin to focus on our freedom. At that point we are noodling. What comes out then is us, not God. And we make much lesser music.
I encourage you all to play Kind of Blue today – it has to be one of the most versatile records ever. I enjoy it as background music, and when I am able to focus on it.

-Jason Wilson

Theology in conversation

My friend meant it as a harmless rejoinder to our conversation about whether there was a plan for everything, but the simple question, "Then how can you consider yourself a spiritual person?" blew me away. It had been a long time since someone has pushed me on my faith resolve, but it was clear that it was one of those moments that was truly a message from God to redouble my reflection about my personal faith. Since that evening a few weeks ago, I have been uncomfortable in my faith skin. It was like I was dug in to the batter's box and was hanging over the inside of the plate, and then she threw a high, hard one, and I haven't been comfortable in the box since.

The origin of my discomfort comes from having an opinion about predestination. And, not just that but also realizing that it is grounded in logic and reason and not necessarily theological basis. I have found myself in this situation with growing frequency since I have allowed the shell around my faith to crack in the comforts of the Riverside family. In a search for dialogue and to provide full disclosure of my conversation that brought me to this quandary, here are my thoughts on predestination. God decides a lot of things, but doesn't micromanage the world. I believe in the macro/micro world. I'm sure that there are many Christians that would disagree and some that would feel good to have someone else in their camp, but this is where I am currently. I believe that all of my opinions are fluid, but I hope that they are wandering closer and closer to the truth as I pursue new information.

Before today, I was ready to answer that my views on predestination do still allow me to claim to be a spiritual person, but then Brian died. Brian is a friend and co-worker. I was ready to write this entry before I walked into school this morning, and then I learned that a tragedy had struck, a co-worker died from what appears to be a massive heart attack. Now predestination became real and personal. It became something with a context. It was no longer some mental exercise for me. Did God plan for Brian to die on Sunday night? I recognize that I live in a world with a perspective too small to understand God's decisions, but now I have to ask whether this was a macro or micro situation, and I have no idea. I am lost, and Brian is gone. It is amazing how quickly we are knocked from our faith perch. It took me two weeks to digest the simple question about how my view on predestination jives with being a Christian, but this shock to the system may take a lot longer.

-Dr. Robert Dillon

Post-Script: While Bob articulates his views in a logical way, they are not far off from Riverside's basic stance on this issue. If you would like to look into the issue further, the term that probably summarizes our position well (for a short conversation) is "Compatabilism".

Why you should come to On Tap Tonight

So, we have been doing On Tap for over three years as a church and the purpose of it - at least any kind of pure purpose - alludes my understanding. But, I will take a shot :)

Pubs and bars used to be places where people went to discuss important and relevant things. Prior to Twitter, the ever-presence of the BBC, and XM Radio people used to talk to each other more directly. What is even more crazy is that we used to disagree well, we used to discuss things together, and it used to stretch us as human beings.

At On Tap there is no 'teaching'. There is no 'leader'. There is a moderator, and if you have been to On Tap when we discuss political topics, you know why #1 we have to have a moderator and #2 we (now) ask people to raise their hands. Instead we have an agreed upon topic and we attempt to discuss and learn. Tonight we are discussing the importance of Social Networking (Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, blogs). Some people (like myself) are listening okay and also thinking about what we want to say. Some are (believe it or not) more obnoxious than I am. And many, listen very well, and when they speak up people listen intently.

We are assuming that disagreements are okay. We are assuming that God meant what he said throughout the Bible about community - it is more difficult than island-living in some ways, but it is worth the trouble. We are assuming that we have things to learn, from whoever happens to show up that particular evening. And, even as I write "we", I am aware that someone "new" always wanders in. Sometimes someone from the Riverside Community, but more often it is a friend of someone who comes to On Tap. If Facebook is accurate, several friends of one of our favorite servers are attending tonight.

Anyway, I hope you can join us tonight. I know many don't like open-forum discussions. No big deal, On Tap isn't your thing. But I think if you're able to come you will find it is worth it. And I will finally point out that my favorite part are the conversations that happen after the official conversation is over. It is simply fun to get to know new people, and to grow deeper in other friendships. 7:00 at Llywelyn's in WG

Are you social? Why or why not?

Tomorrow night's On Tap will be about Social Networking. Do me a favor and tell me why you use Twitter. Or, tell me why you do not use it. Why you love it, or why you hate it. Or why you could not care less... Or you can talk about Facebook if you want. Same questions. Thanks for your time!

-Matt Blazer

Parenting Page: "I'm Sorry"

There are a myriad of things I never pictured would be part of my life as a parent: poop… Poop in so many places you never wanted to poop to be; pacing the floors at 3am with a baby who’s been screaming for two hours; the way my belly button sinks into this donut shape flap of wrinkled skin; peeing on the side of the road because I’d rather be arrested for indecent exposure than un-strap all 3 of my kids and corral them in a gas station bathroom; and nursing, changing a diaper, and going to the bathroom all at the same time. How is that for TMI!

There are also a myriad of things I never thought I would say as a parent: “Stop stuffing peas down your shirt”; “Take your brother out of that headlock”; “Who’s poop is this on the floor?”; and “No, you may not try to fit into the dishwasher.”

Of all the many things that come out of my mouth that cause me to think, “I can’t believe I’m saying that,” the hardest thing for me to say continues to be “I’m sorry.”

I have learned through the years at Riverside that we cannot expect to be perfect or treat each other perfectly. I have learned that living the gospel in relationships is being willing to confess when you’ve been wrong and apologize. I have read in parenting books and heard parenting sermons on the incredible value of saying sorry to our children. I tell my children God loves to hear us say sorry. In my head, I get it.

I get the frustration of knowing in your gut your parents are wrong and feeling crazy because they won’t admit it — I’ve lived that life. I get that confessing our failures to our kids teaches them they don’t have to be perfect. I get that if we want them to be free to make mistakes, we have to not hide our mistakes in shame. I get it…in my head.

But the connection between what I get in my head and what I actually live out in my life is often lost. Many times I find myself defending my inappropriate actions to Tyler when I’ve clearly wronged him, shifting the blame for my behavior to him, or continuing in a course of action that I know is wrong because I’d have to admit I’m wrong to stop.

What’s even more telling of what I truly believe in my heart is how I behave after I’ve wronged one of my children. Rather than admit my fault, I try to demonstrate, with gusto, my love for them in other ways. I’ll do what I can to appease my guilt and try to assure them that I’m still a good mom and vow to do better the next time without ever confessing to them or looking to God for forgiveness.

In my head I get the necessity for saying sorry but in my heart I live in fear that each time I mess up, my kids are more likely to be doomed to the life of a serial killer. So, rather than admit I’ve messed up and need God; I pretend I did no wrong or work harder to make up for it. Last week, I felt like God broke into the fear of my heart with a simple, “Remember me?”

“Remember that I am working on behalf of your children. Remember that it’s not up to you how they turn out, entrust them to me. Remember that I am bigger than the wounds you’ve received in your life and bigger than the wounds you will inflict on your children. Remember most of all that I paid for your mistakes on the cross and I am the atonement for your sins. Remember it is my love that covers a multitude of sins. Remember it’s not up to you to make it right, I have already made it right”

God in your mercy, help me remember.

“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your loving kindness; according to the multitude of your tender mercies, blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin” Psalm 51:1-2

Music Monday

Music moves me. Where? Into segments and times in my life. Into memories good and bad. It moves me to tears when I am not sad and euphoria when I am just hanging out. I think that if it weren't for music and the power that it wields in my life, I would feel an emptiness, a flatness that would be unbearable.

I am listening to some old Crosby, Stills, and Nash and being transported into another realm, not good and not bad, just different than where I am now.
I remember watching Josh (our now 31 year old son) as a toddler in diapers run to the living room anytime a certain song by Steely Dan came on our stereo. He would bounce up and down and throw himself into the song and the moment. I realized at that point that we are all born with an inherent response to music and rhythm. It doesn't always translate into being a musician, singer, or even a person with the ability to stay on pitch. It does translate into a part of ourselves that is touched only by music.
Why does everyone have a favorite song, or make mixes that are all about a season. or event, or an era? Because music touches something deep and primal in all of us and captivates that part of our soul that lays dormant to be awakened only by the kiss of a note, a melody, a rhythm.

My first conscious memory of loving music and loving how it transported me somewhere was as a little girl. My dad would play Ravel's "Bolero" on our Hi Fi (yep that's what we called our record players back then, high fidelity:) I totally imagined the march into the stadium of the bullfighters in Spain. I had no idea what either of those really were at that time, but the music literally painted the picture and the emotion for me. I was hooked. "Stomp" was an amazing odyssey into rhythm and joy of sound and movement that turned my head and heart more recently. My dad always inspired me through playing the piano, and having an amazing well-rounded record collection. My mom, alas, was tone deaf, but that didn't stop her from loving music and dancing to it (my parents were amazing dancers!).

To me I saw music as something to love and find joy in even when hard times happened. Every relationship, every stage of high school and college and beyond has its musical score and when a strain of one of those songs hits my ears it hits my heart as well.
Our creator knew what he was doing. There is rhythm and melody all around us everywhere, everyday, for everyone.

What piece of music has moved you recently and why? What older piece of music draws you back to an earlier season in your life?

-Marsha Lang

Don't think, just comment

What was the last thing you played on your IPOD? In lieu of Music Monday, let's just see what everyone has been listening to today. Could also be the last song you remember hearing on the radio or the last CD you put in...

Don't be shy, just comment. For me it was Patty Griffin.

-Matt Blazer

Known Traditions

Often I find myself saying, "does that make sense?" during conversations. It's like I have to check in with others to feel connected. I want to be understood and accepted. Growing up we had 2 traditions, eat lots of food, the same food, every year on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Breakfast was always normal breakfast food and then a special fruit salad only made on that day. Those are great traditions but I am excited about creating new ones for my family that are about church friendships and community as well as blood relations. I informed my good friend that I was inviting myself FOREVER to watch 4th of July fireworks and Trick or Treat on Halloween with them and here is why. My kids love their kids. Sam and I love their parents. When we get together with all of the kids (six soon to be eight) it is crazy and fun and when my kids throw tantrums I don't feel like I have to apologize and when there is a poopy diaper we just change it and move on. It is riskier in the long run to try and grow friendships because when a bump comes along (as it inevitably will with friends,) I fear there is an option to cut and run. I get so afraid of rejection that I plan out a route to run super fast. With family I always feel they have to love me and can't leave. I get afraid friends will leave because there are no ties that bind. I am slowly learning that the kind of friends Sam and I have made in the past few years do come with ties and they bind. Underneath the fear, the humanness, we share a belief in Christ and it binds us. I want to be the kind of parent that raises my children to know Jesus and I need help to do that. I can’t do it in a vacuum. I can do it with friendships, with church, with our house-group and playgroups and lots of phone calls. So, even though I get afraid and sometimes don’t want to be known, it’s become a priority in my life to be known, however risky it may be.

-Greta Coalier

Dancing the Night Away

Lately my daughter and I have ended our evenings with a dance session. This probably isn't the wisest way to wind down from a long day, but it is a fun one. The song above is one of our favorites to dance the night away with (poorly in my case).

Dancing with my daughter has led me to think about why music and/or dancing brings us so much joy. What is it about beats, melodies, chord progressions and lyrics that can sway our bodies and emotions? At the moment this seems to me to be unanswerable. While I am sure that the scientific view has some merit on the issue it is utterly unsatisfying in my opinion. This in turn makes me very uncomfortable trying to describe music's effect because I can't make it logical...and I love making things logical (even when they aren't). As much as I would like to I can't explain why I love jazz and dislike country music, or why I love Radiohead and I don't like Coldplay. I can talk about lots of factors, but I can't explain the core. In other words, my preferences aren't "right" by any objective standard they are simply, and only, my preferences.

At this moment, instead of trying to think through those things I just want to thank God for giving us the creativity and ingenuity to make music. I think it is a gift from God that we have devices such as music and art that, though useless in the utilitarian sense, bring so much depth to our lives. I feel like music gives me a little sense of the more abstract, indescribable aspects of my God, and for this I am grateful - and so is my daughter.

-Jason Wilson