An Inconvenient Love (Mentoring)

I was at the mac store yesterday after senior high guys bible study and I asked one of the tech guys if I could somehow sync my blackberry with the iCal (calendar program) on the macbook. I already knew the answer to that question because Blazer told me the answer hours earlier but I was looking for some loophole to make like easier and more convenient. If I had a calendar that synced to my phone, then all I would need to do is update appointments on my laptop and within seconds, my phone would be in step with the rest of my life. Some of you may be thinking “You’re the youth guy....what do you actually do throughout the week?” That question is tough for me to be honest with you - because I love the children and youth of our church.

So, at the Apple Store I realized I was trying to make my life easier. I can make my life easier at almost any time. But, that doesn’t mean that the choices I/we make are the most beneficial for ourselves and those we love, but we can do it. And I don't know about you, but I often feel over-committed. So what? When do followers of Jesus get to the point in their lives when true love for others (according to Jesus, the second greatest command) is dependent upon convenience? When does it become clearer, easier?

This can include anything from loving families, neighbors, enemies and even loving those in our church by serving in certain ministries that bless them. I know I easily fall into the trap of loving out of convenience rather than loving because of Jesus and so I’ve started to ask myself the question, “Really?”

* Do I really not have the time to meet up with someone who’s hurting because I need to spend time with my family? Or is it because I had a long day and just want to watch tv?
* Do I really need to back out of some specific church ministry? Am I that busy, or is it easier to quit the church thing than to even think about how I got here in the first place?
* Do I really not want to talk to my neighbors because I’m too busy, or because it takes more effort than I wish to use up?

There are more “really” questions. I assume you struggle with them also. We try to say we love because He first loved us, but when push comes to shove - what’s the excuse in your back pocket? Mine is busyness and fatigue. Really? The only motivation we need and should be satisfied with in terms of why we do anything is because of Christ. He’s more than enough for me to love others when it’s inconvenient. I pray that I will really believe this. I pray that you will really believe this.

-Simon

Mature Dependence

Cheesy image? Yes, maybe. (I was looking for something to go with what I wanted to get at below.) You deserve better. I realize this...Anyway, I wanted to make a quick post today and would ask for your interaction on it below (if you'd like).

Yesterday we mentioned that everyone has a set of beliefs that helps them make sense of the world around them. This set of beliefs, commonly called a worldview, helps individuals answer some of the "big questions" in life (i.e., Is there a God?, Why do people suffer?, What happens to us when we die?, Will the Cardinals win the Series this year?). All of these are very important and the answers to them help us to "live" in the world around us (okay, maybe not the last one, but even that is highly debatable).

So, we mentioned yesterday that Jesus himself had a worldview, a way of making sense of reality. Though I doubt it was as corny as the "blue-green eyeball", his worldview showed us something about who he thought God was (or was like). I had never really thought about this before. It challenges me, because as someone who claims to follow Jesus, I don't know if my "way of seeing things" squares all that well with Jesus'; not the least of which is my steely stubbornness to see God as a Father. I am sure that it is my arrogance that gets in the way: I'd rather be self-sufficient than see myself as a "beggar." No, "being in need" wouldn't be half as bad as having to admit and deal with the fact that I am in need. 

For those who read this blog that claim to follow Jesus, how do we mature in our dependence? 

For those who read this blog and don't follow Jesus, is this a fundamental problem with Christianity--that it promotes neediness and illustrates that "religion is a crutch"? 

I'd love your thoughts...

-Ryan

Beauty in some Distress

Some of you may not feel like reading.

So, don't.

I found James Griffioen's photography through a website I check regularly, and found it to be the most compelling photography I have seen in a long time (Maybe ever... and I see a lot of really good photography). I would highly encourage you to read the story, and go through ALL of his pictures, they are amazing.

This one is fro his "lost neighborhoods" series.

-Matt

What does he think of his faith now?

I was talking to my mom last week, and she told me that the woman who works for her - after finding out that I was sick - asked her, "Well, what does he think of his faith now?" (PS - if you weren't in church or don't go to church you can email me through our church website and I can explain my sickness).

This Space is in honor of her tact: __________________ .

To hear my mom tell the story it sounds like she sat the woman down and told her about Jesus. I mean, it kind of sounded like a come-to-Jesus meeting in lots of ways. So awkward! I mean, I know people that like to say provocative things and then sort of back off. But, when it is your employer (its my mom's company too... she's not just the boss), and she says, "No, you asked so I'm gonna tell you!" you have to sit there.

Mom said it was the most she had talked about Jesus in years. Seems like a good thing.

What I told Mom was that she could tell __________ that I am happy that my worldview provides good answers to the difficult questions we are faced with (both before and now). Now, that can sound silly in some ways, or like I'm dodging, but I mean it. Christianity does not offer pat or trite answers. But, it offers robust, thick answers to the questions we have. Sometimes the Bible will re-orient us to another question, that the Bible implies is a better question. Sometimes the answers suck. Such as when some of our "suffering" is caused by us, or by dead relatives we can't yell at. Other times it is frustrating because we are forced to realize that the dominant culture has us thinking we can actually eliminate many kinds of suffering - some through mere distraction, and other kids (like sickness) through medicine.

I am still happy that the Bible answers my questions. Through the Bible I expect people to have darkness in them. So, I am less surprised by suicide, divorce, squabbles over money. Through the Bible I do not expect to not suffer because of my faith. Through the Bible I believe there is hope of redemption (which is really the hardest one to believe isn't it?). I mean, ultimately we are not expecting answers to everything, I think we just struggle to have actual hope. It would be easy for me to write something trite about the resurrection. I do believe that it indicates the power behind true hope.

What do you think?

-Matt

Questions

Yesterday we explored our questions, and what then happens when we approach the Bible with them. Sometimes the Bible answers directly, but more often the Bible seems to offer a different question. There are many reasons why this is so. The Bible is more full of story and poetry than it is full of direct advice and equations-for-life.

In John chapter 9 Jesus' disciples ask why a man was born blind, but their question comes out as, "Who Sinned, this man or his parents?" There is so much in this passage! What I want to point out is simply that Jesus re-oriented their way of thinking, and that taking the Bible on its own terms can produce the same experience. We have our question; sometimes the Bible answers it, sometimes Jesus will answer another question, and sometimes the Lord gently re-orients us to a better question - or, like a postmodern thinker, Jesus will reject the categories we bring into our question and then deal with what we were really asking.

In the midst of the first part of John 15 - the passage we dealt with yesterday during our worship service - Jesus describes the darker seasons of life as "pruning". Let me say that better... He does not say they exist for the purpose of pruning (growth in character, sympathy, affection), but that the suffering that is inevitable for all people in some form (there are different kinds: calamitous suffering one will never account for, sin-suffering we bring upon ourselves or our loved ones bring upon us by poor choices...) will affect growth in those men and women who are attached the "The True Vine", Jesus of Nazareth.

What does this have to do with sickness? Again, it is indirect (read: annoying). But, in this case the Bible is re-assuring, not in the sense that we who are sick understand WHY we are sick, but we know that it is not out of God's control and we know that He will use it in his overall redemptive purposes. Maybe you expect more comfort from the Bible? Me too. And, it is there - particularly in the Psalms, where many of the writers were likely sick. But, at the end of the day I think that adding some purpose and explanation to suffering is more honest and believable than a trite answer. I think it is more realistic towards humanity-since-the-Fall than a simple black/white answer. I think that I feel like the Bible takes my sickness/suffering more seriously than that, and that is comforting.

Thoughts???

Discuss...

-Matt

PS - Those are Shiraz vines...

A Chance for Beauty

I wonder if the blog is the place to ask and answer questions. Because I use Google Analytics, I know exactly how many people click on our blog... Which means I still don't know if it is a good place to discuss things!

Our church runs an Art Gallery through our office. It costs us very little money (significantly less than one percent of our budget), and seems to produce an incredible number of blank expressions from artists, Christians, church members, and people who wander in from the community (which happens every time we have a show). These looks become even more furrowed when we start to talk about how and why we don't charge commissions.

The Gallery has several purposes (Missional, Theological, Relational) which would require more space than I would like to put into a blog (but I LOVE emails... ). I will summarize that we think artists are uniquely gifted in displaying things that are difficult to explain with words. This is worth supporting. In the books of Exodus and Chronicles, God commissions artists for the beautiful parts of the Tabernacle and then the Temple. Our community enjoys Art, and we enjoy participating and furthering art in Webster. I could go on and on.

I want you to come to the Gallery on Friday, April 17th because I think it is good for your heart. I know that it is hard to find a babysitter if you have kids (or adults that you don't like coming out with you). I know you're busy. I also know there is something about Art that often stirs the soul in places we weren't engaging while scrolling through Status Updates on Facebook, Answering emails, or when we were stuck in traffic. The show is through the local chapter of the Women's Caucus for the Arts, and it has a depth and richness I could (and have already) spend hours looking at and enjoying.

The above painting is by Lucian Freud, and if you have the time I think you should read this article from the BBC http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/7979469.stm It is about what can happen when you happen upon some great art. It is short and enjoyable.

Please, if you have questions about the Gallery this is an okay place to voice them... And, show up on Friday. By the way, the food has been written up by a local Art Journalist as the best spread of any Gallery in St. Louis (Art Patrol).

-Matt

Preaching Resurrection

Plastic Lilies in bunches,
Held together by hand tied hanger wire
and gathered from boxes
stored and dusted off for celebration.

Tulips and Daffodils freshly cut
pose alongside in vases filled with sink water.
The authentic and the artificial in mixture and on display.

Visitors make their twice annual journey into Sunday clothes
While the faithful in dialogue
greet with "Christ is risen, He is Risen indeed!"
Hugs and twice-kissed cheeks.
Smudged red lipsticks on Styrofoam cups.
Bits of chocolate and marshmallow linger in teeth.
Boys and girls wearing ties and dresses and jumping.
Jumping with Sugar digesting.

Timpani and brass in fanfare.
Trumpeters rented for the morning.
The choir prepares to pay Handel tribute.
Hallelujah's resound from
breaths smelling of morning coffee and hurried mint.
Grey hairs with tears and eyes
blue and green and brown
These view memories like silent-movies.
They stare through the singing
And touch the absence of loved ones long gone.

All await a word and some from God.

The pulpit wood is shroud-draped.
Since choral participation is too numerous
for normal seating arrangements,
The usual and undecorated man
sits to the side in a seat reserved to preach.

He has a fever this morning.
His throat burns
with red and white sores
that punish each swallow.
Pockets filled with tissues he tries to
stem the tide of congestion.
Joints in his knees
on fire
The preacher's heart.
He fights silent in coat and tie.
His thoughts sleepwalk with prayers
and blowing nose.
"Help me" he whispers.
Sporadic tremors
intrude and chill his muscles and bones.

The moment arrives.
He is summoned.
He sudden remembers the Lapel mic.
In stride to his appointment
he releases the Mute.
The preacher is on.

All eyes meet in a silent conversation
and then close in community.
The prayer is asked,
the Book is opened.
The congregation sits anxious—
some for lunch, some for grace.

The preacher infirmed stands
and resurrection is proclaimed.

-Zack

Got

A few days ago, I watched this video clip that showed a conversation (of sorts) between individuals who follow Jesus and those who do not. The “roundtable discussion” was held to hear various voices across the broader culture interact with large, metaphysical questions. Interestingly, a passing comment callously directed towards the Christians was the notion that God sits on his throne and gets everyone who is evil. 

The reason this critique came was because what we all needed to do was to move away from mental categories of “good” and “evil,” and to see the world as having constructive and destructive forces. But what we must not do is assign moral value to these forces or to anything (be it winning the lottery, getting your car towed, or an event like 9/11). To do so, so the reasoning goes, is a sign of weakness—an inability to see the world as it is. Therefore, to need a God to come and punish evil is a crutch. 

There is much that I would like to interact with regarding these sentiments. I would love talk about the notion of moral ambiguity. I would love to talk about why, I think, Christianity gives a better answer to pain and suffering than functionally ignoring it. But what I want to interact with in the next few minutes is the way this line of thinking sees God as acting toward evil.

I hope I am being fair (I do not mean to malign) to the above perspective on reality in my thoughts below. However, one of the fundamental problems with this way of viewing God is that, perhaps, He (she or it?) remains indifferent except for when punishing needs to be doled out. Then, with a short fuse, he gets off his duff and starts punishing people. In other words, “God’s out to get you.” 

Now, in one sense, the Christian understanding of the way that God acts towards evil is quite interesting. It affirms that God himself, crushed his own Son, so that he will not “get” those who love and delight themselves in Him. Said differently, God “gets” his own Son, precisely so he will not “get” those who otherwise deserve to be “got.” 

There is another sense, too, in the way that Christianity understands God “getting.” Perhaps this slice-of-life will help. I recently was chatting with a friend of mine when his daughter saying, “Daddy, will you get me?”, interrupted us. She took off running and my friend followed closely behind, letting her get a few steps ahead. At last, her speed wasn’t enough and he scooped her up into his arms and planted a big, fat kiss right on her cheek. The little girl was beaming with excitement, enjoyment and laughter. She had been “got,” and it was a delightful thing.

For the Christian, the problem with thinking that God is out to "get us" fails to account for this sort of being “got.” It’s a getting of enjoyment; it is one of pursuit and delight. There is no reason remaining for there to be any sort of punishment whatsoever. Yes, God is out to get you, but you don’t know the half of what He is getting your for!

Lastly, I often wonder if our reasoning gets the best of us. Sometimes we fail to understand something (which is quite okay) and, then, based on this faulty understanding, we reject the (faulty) understanding by creating a reason to reject it. It’s like trying to build a house starting with the roof and, then, realizing that there is no place to put it, rule the roof out as useless. Then, the house is constructed without a roof and we are left wondering why we get wet when it rains. 

The truth of the first Good Friday (which Christians celebrate tomorrow) was that there was a double “getting” that day. Yes, God came after (read: punish) somebody for sure. But it wasn’t you and it wasn’t me. It was Jesus. And, for the reason they call it Good, God “got” somebody else too. But this second kind is “gotten” of delight—both in the “Getter” and the “gotten.” --Ryan

Longing for the "The"

Imagine a pastor in the wedding moment. The rings have exchanged. Vows have spoken and anchored. Family and friends wipe tears from cheeks and grins. The pastor turns to the groom and says, “You may kiss a bride.” 

Or consider that you’ve just received word. The news is good! You go to the hospital to the childbirth floor. You locate the room of the new mother. You gush with joy and say to her, “May I see a baby?” 

In such moments, exclusivity doesn’t threaten or confound. In such moments exclusivity protects and clarifies. Everyone in the room would shudder if the groom kissed a bride and the pastor permitted it. We instead long for and treasure the fact that the groom will kiss the bride. To see a baby is almost always pleasant. But for a new mother, it is the baby we want to see. 

The word “the” excludes and highlights one in comparison and contrast to all others. For most of us we treasure the “the”. Our hearts crush toward death when our spouse turns “you’re the one I love” into “you are a one I love.” Most of our lives we search for “the” relationship, “the” answer, “the” job, “the” house or “the” habit that will finally answer and steady our deepest longings. We fatigue deeply the longer we go with finding “a” relationship, “a” job, “a” house. Some of us finally say, “the heck with it!” (we actually say, “the hell with it” but I wasn’t sure if I could write that or not on this blog). We give up and settle for any “a” or “any” that comes along. 

When Jesus says, “I am the Good Shepherd,” he claims to differ from a Good Shepherd. When he says, “I am the light of the world,” or “I am the bread of life,” he claims uniqueness from all other lights and breads. Jesus does not see himself as a light or a bread among other equal lights and breads. He makes the claim painfully clear when he says plainly, “I am the way, the truth, and the life.” 

To claim exclusivity scares us and rightfully so in my mind. Hitler claimed to have the answer. People longing for the “the” in devastating economic and war torn realities wanted to believe him and tried his claim. Not every one who claims to have the “the” can or should be trusted. Any of us who have been burned because we thought we had found the one true love of our lives understands this. 

But those who have known one true love without the burn and with the blessing will cherish the exclusive. So it is with those who turned to Churchill during those bloody years. Sometimes exclusive claims harm us. But when our disease threatens us. We instinctively learn the difference when someone says, “I think you need to see a doctor.” Sometimes the nature of our disease requires that we see the doctor. 

Because the doctor knows what others do not blesses, protects and clarifies us. That he or she claims to have unique or rare knowledge is a statement of fact. Arrogance or meanness would only surface in the way the one with the knowledge demonstrated what they knew. To say that no one is Michael Jordan and that every NBA player since is measured by who he was as a player is not to speak arrogantly but factually. So I think it is with Jesus. For Jesus to claim uniqueness is not in itself arrogant or mean. The question for us is this: Is what Jesus claims factual? If it is, the claim offers protection and clarity and blessing for those of us who want God to find us. 

-Zack Eswine

Grow

Last Night at Cross-Training (this is our Middle School large group) we had a picture of me up on the screen welcoming students as they come through the doors. It was a picture of my at my high school graduation party and needless to say, I looked a bit different than I do now. I was 260 LBS and sported a then-trendy part down the middle, fashionably known as the "butt cutt." Of course, this got me thinking about my own growth towards Jesus, and the growth of our teenagers at Riverside - who I am the pastor of.

I hated my appearance. I wrestled with images issues then, and I still do. I was sick and tired of being the far kid amongst my group of friends. I made it a goal to never look that way again and so I took measures into my own hands. I got pictures of some ripped individuals and hung them up in my bathroom so that every morning I would see who I wanted to become. I thought if I could become like these people... then I would feel different, and my problems would disappear along with my "butt cutt". I worked out a lot. I sometimes starved myself for days and broke my fast by eating a small meal. Step-two: repeat step one. I set myself strict guidelines about food and exercise in hopes of being different. By the time college was over I weighed about 180 LBS. This wasn't enough for my heart. I tried more extreme measures but found myself not wanting to be like those pictures anymore. I don't know if I was tired, I don't know if God simply rescued me from my addictions - I just knew that somewhere my affections had changed.

Who are you trying to become? A pretty hip youth ministry talk is about "taking off the mask". I was trying to become the ripped guy, that was my mask. I was afraid of the other mask: the fat kid one...

Who are you trying to become? In one of the Apostle Paul's leters he writes, "Imitate me as I imitate Christ". Do we try so hard to become something else that we actually miss the real life offered by imitating Christ? God didn't design us to worry about our appearance, especially to obsession. God didn't design us, in fact, to be able t oavoid mess - ours or other people's. But, God does allow a generous process for us to grow in Christlikeness. When we run after other things/masks/images/ we're missing out. I'm not saying imitating Christ provides every answer and an "immediate cure" to our anxieties and addictions. But, I am saying it is worth it.

-Simon