A Mother's Letter. From God

"At times we watch helplessly and somewhat mutely as our lives or the lives of people love are so devastated by the result of living in a fallen world that we can do nothing but cry out to God in pain and sorrow. God's response to my cries was this impression of his voice in my heart, first to me personally, three years prior and then again to me FOR Erin. It was one of the deepest comforts he gave to me as a woman and as a mom. Sometimes we just need to hear him share the gospel with us in the midst of deep pain so that we can cry out with Job, "I know that my redeemer lives!" Following are his words that I shared with my hurting, precious, amazing girl.

October 9, 2007

Erin,
I have had this thought on my heart since last Saturday and know that it was spoken into my heart by God. He originally spoke in a very similar way a few years back… to me. Now I know, this time, it is… for you.

“Erin, I have pursued you since you came into this world. You were wanted and loved by parents, parents who often did not know how to love you, how to get to that place deep in your heart that was restless and hungering.
You pursued others, girlfriends and boys, but they never could get to that place either. Yet, each time you tried to make them the answer you gave pieces of yourself away.

The more you sought to fill that place deep in your heart, the deeper it became. This created restlessness in you and a fear that this would never change. Yet, at the same time this deep abyss in your heart frightened you, so did allowing others into it.
Meanwhile Erin, I’ve waited. Crying for you on the sidelines of your life, watching you from the sidelines, but always just one step away. Just like the others, if you sensed Me too close, you stepped away.

I think that you’ve known all along that if you completely give yourself to Me, I will forever change you and that scares you. I designed and created you so I would never change the very essence of who you are. I would never mar My own work of art, My poem, My beauty.

Others may willingly take from you or even unwittingly do so. However, I have been waiting to take you into My arms and let all of My love and power, Sorrow and tears, and beauty and grace flow into and fill that place in your heart.
I will never leave you, even if you leave Me, for however long. I will never tire of you or lose patience with you, nor My desire for you.

You were worth Me letting My heart be ripped out of Me and bleed . You were worth Me letting go of My child. Letting Him go into the hands of confused, scared, angry people that took His beauty and marred it and then hung it on that cross displayed in the cruelest of deaths. You were worth Me turning My back on Him at the moment He most needed Me and pleaded My Father’s arms to save and hold Him. “My God, My God! Why have You forsaken Me?!”


You were worth all of My resurrection power being emptied into My dead Son’s body, to give you the opportunity to let Me in to your life.
Erin, I didn’t do all of this just for you to have “someday Heaven”. No, I did it for now, a heaven on earth life. The very life you’ve looked for to fill that place deep in your heart.

Erin, you are worth all of this and you are worth waiting for. I have been pursuing you for your entire life. I love you…I yearn for you…I’ll wait forever. All of this is because I Am Who I Am…this is My very nature…I cannot deny the very essence of Who I am. I am Love fierce and passionate and powerful enough to hold and keep you forever. Amen”

P.S.- Erin, do you remember that your name means “peace”? What you seek is one step away…I believe you are moving towards that Peace and He is waiting with open arms… Mama

-Marsha Lang