I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into renting a movie whose plot is sexual abuse by a Catholic priest but I was blown away by incredible acting and a thought provoking, well written story. I love when a movie effortlessly grabs my attention and won't let go for days afterward. As I've processed elements of the film, I have indeed been left to wrestle with what I suppose was the writers intent: doubt.

Faith is the antithesis of doubt, yet as a person of faith in Christ, doubt is a part of my life.  The evidene of our world's fallen state bombards me every day as I watch the news and hear of conflict, poverty and injustice.  I'm filled with overwhelming sorrow as I hear of a friend's illness, a teenager's suicide, a neighbor's job loss.  I feel despondant when I wrestle with questions a movie like this raises, "how can a God who is loving allow a priest, a man supposedly of God, to abuse an innocent child and steal a precious part of him that he will never get back?"  

I take comofort in knowing that I am not the first person of faith who has struggled with questions and doubt.  God has given us a provocative example to study in the story of Job.  Job was a faithful man of God, yet God allowed unbearable hardship and sorrow to enter his life.  Here's a brief glimpse into his story:

25Did not I [Job] weep for him whose day was hard?
   Was not my soul grieved for the needy?
²⁶But when I hoped for good, evil came,
   and when I waited for light,darkness came.
²⁷My inward parts are in turmoil and never still;

   days of affliction come to meet me. - Job 30:25-27

In his story Job questions the Lord and God does not rebuke him for that.  However, God does not give Job a direct answer to his questions.  Rather the Lord returns with questions of his own to Job:

"Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
   Tell me, if you have understanding.
⁵Who determined its measurements—surely you know!
   Or who stretched the line upon it?
⁶On what were its bases sunk,
   or who laid its cornerstone,
⁷when the morning stars sang together
   and all the sons of God shouted for joy?" - Job 38:4-7

It is okay for me to question and doubt but it is not okay for me to expect to fully understand the ways of the Lord.  My pride demands full disclosure as a right and a prerequisite to my complete trust, but that was never promised to me.  Christ himself, who knows all things and understands all things still felt the human sting of being forsaken by the Lord as he hung on the cross.  If it was okay for Christ to ask why God had forsaken him, I know it is okay for me to ask the Lord my tough questions full of doubt, as Job did, and as Sister Aloysius did at the end of the movie.  In the example of Christ, I choose faith, in spite of my doubt.  

-Natalie Wilson