"Why does a Lieutenant Junior Grade with nine months' experience and a track record for plea bargaining get assigned to a murder case? Would it be so it never sees the inside of a courtroom?" (Daniel Kaffee, A Few Good Men). Sometimes I feel like this. Why would a single guy with no kids be placed in charge of youth (I have 9 years experience in this) and all things children's ministry? (No experience). I write this post with much fear and conviction, knowing that the Lord has placed this burden on my heart. I write this with all humility and hope that Christ would be glorified.
Throughout my years in youth ministry and my almost 6 months of children's ministry, I've found one common trend that all churches and parents face: how do I parent my child? I want to pose the question: "why do we treat our kids like iphones?" I don't have an iphone but I understand that you can download all kinds of apps that can make your phone do anything and everything the heart would desire. I saw a commercial for the iphone where you can download a list of birds and it can tell you the type, characteristics, and the specific "chirp" it makes. You can also download an app that will tell you if the plant you ran through is poisonous. Really?
In today's culture, kids are way over scheduled to the point where you need to make plans weeks in advance to hang out with them. I spoke with another youth director who told me that kids in their small group can hardly meet weekly because kids have multiple sports (not just one), private lessons for instruments, lessons for manners (i don't know how to spell the name of it), parties with friends, or other activities their kids are interested in. We recently went to Spring Storm and I spoke with my friends from Central Pres in Clayton and they said the same things about kids who needed to cancel coming because they forgot they had something else planned on that weekend (signups were months before).
Are we allowing culture to schedule our kids or are we taking that role back as parents and setting our kid's calendars ourselves? I'm not saying that having your kid in all these different activities is wrong but I wonder, "where are we scheduling God in the lives of our children?" Is it absolutely necessary to have our kids involved with 4 different things that their relationship with God suffers because they can't come to church or be more involved with ministries that are age specific? What would it look like for us to schedule God, first, in the lives of our children and allow everything else to fall into place after Christ? Help me out here, because I don't have kids... But, I know a lot of them, and they seem like they might have too many apps.
-Simon
Simon, Rachel is only five and she's already into multi-tasking. As much as possible I'm trying to do "downtime" with her...baking bread, snuggling and watching television. I have a 28-year-old daughter Lily and I know that the time to introduce Rachel to "quiet time" is now.
ReplyDeleteUnless our kids are "programmed" to periodically optimize their hard drives they're headed for a "crash".
BTW, I cracked up a couple of Sundays ago watching a tiny one playing a a bunny game app on her daddy's iPhone. When she had finished coloring in the bunny she rebooted the game and started over.
i think this is a long-time problem, simon. i remember dealing with this when i was in jr. high- would i participate in competitive league athletics or make time in my summer to go to Kanakuk Kamp (which was really central to my relationship with Christ as i was growing up)? of course, back then it wasn't iPhones- it was all pen & pencil. : )
ReplyDeleteit is interesting now as a parent to think about it- caroline is only 3, but i already feel pressure to engage in more activities so she gets a "full range of experiences." Soccer, swimming, library days, playdates, art & drama camps, VBS, BSF... all of those are really good things, but sometimes it's just really fun to stay home & blow bubbles in the yard. which she does naked as a jaybird and wearing a tiara. i prefer clothing & a simple ponytail myself.
so thanks for the reminder that more is sometimes just more... and that i'd rather hear my sometime nudist pre-schooler tell me that "God made bubbles because they are shiny" than anything else in the world!
perhaps the real issue is finding wisdom in the choices we are up against when it pertains to our kids? I think my iphone illustration wasn't spot on but now as I think about it, it seems that the "Eat This, Not That" craze is more applicable. It's about wisdom in our choices, not indulging in everything and everything we crave.
ReplyDeleteask matt about his version of "eat this, not that." pretty funny... : )
ReplyDeleteGood post Simon! I think WE the parents are a big part of the problem. The more we over-involve our own selves in work meetings, bible studies, committees, neighborhood events, sports stuff.. the less time we have to be with our family and show them the positive outcome from being together. We're also great (or not so great) models for behavior. Kids learn a lot from how we arrange our lives and organize our schedules.
ReplyDeleteMy book is called, "Eat whatever you want... Just cut it in half". Because portion size is a much bigger problem than the content (at least from a fat content standard... don't get me started on corn... seriously).
ReplyDeleteSo, my book looks like Eat this not that, except it can have pictures of everything on the menu (Have you seen "eat this not that"? It is pretty clever), except all of the dishes are simply cut in half (maybe by photoshop to reduce the price of the manuscript.
My other books are all semi-theological and much less interesting.
I can see where this is a problem. One of my dearest friends is named Amber. She's been doing swimming every day, dance, and softball along with studying every night and making A's. Poor thing stays up until 12 every night so she can finish homework, and her parents are making her do all honors classes. She's so sweet, though.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty busy, too- after June 6th, I'm in town 3 other days that month- but it's entirely by choice. I only function well when I'm busy and things are structured.
Good post, Simon.